Armie Hammer isn't your grandma's Illya Kuryakin

“The Man from U.N.C.L.E” Movie.

In a word: PERFECT.

    I had high hopes but no real expectation that it would be good. I was fully prepared to be disappointed. I almost didn’t go to see it.  

    I should have known, having recently been hooked on “Sherlock”. I didn’t learn that Guy Ritchie is the producer of both until AFTER watching the 2015 U.N.C.L.E. movie.

   Ritchie’s work is intricate and complex. You’d better watch closely, because, especially in “Sherlock”, there are clues littered throughout the show. Often he’ll reveal a clue to you before he does to his protagonists. This heightens the suspense. Tightly knit, “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” doesn’t stumble, doesn’t skip a beat. You can see Ritchie’s master touch in both “Sherlock” and “U.N.C.L.E”. Once again, Ritchie is pitch perfect in UNCLE.

   There are more twists and turns in “U.N.C.L.E.” than in a den of snakes.  It’s fast, with just the perfect blend of danger and violence (I mean, come on. This is an action film, after all) that is suited to the occasion without being gratuitous.  Considering the incredible amount of gunfire in today’s movies, this one hasn’t much. It’s used when necessary, which is as it should be.

    There’s a refreshing lack of ‘gadgets’. UNCLE, (I’m purposefully omitting the periods.) after all, is set in 60’s era,  Cold War Italy, the seething heart of the Mafia, underground Nazis, the Soviet Union and the United States already playing a game of nuclear chicken, the KGB, the CIA and of course, MI. Thus, instead of gee whiz technology, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin must rely on their wits-and on each other-to pull the entire operation off.

    I remember hearing a few years ago that Tom Cruise had been considered for the role of Napoleon Solo. Oh my god, what a horrible mistake that would have been. Any role that Tom “Dinosaur” Cruise plays becomes The Movie with Tom Cruise playing ____________. Cruise is predictable no matter what role he plays, and he is seldom if ever believable. He’s as type cast as John Wayne was.

Robert Vaughn as Napoleon Solo

    With one exception, Ritchie cast everyone perfectly. Henry Cavill is a great Napoleon Solo. Although it's hard to beat Robert Vaughn's perfect portrayal.

The New Napoleon Solo

Robert Vaughn OWNED the role of Napoleon Solo. One even begin to forget that he didn't really exist. Vaughn had just the right touch of savoire faire, a lot of danger (to women's virginity) and with just a bit of tongue in cheek to take the fear off. Cavill brings it off with the right touch of seriousness. He's more believable. He's a bit too pretty, though.

  

 David McCallum’s (original) Illya Kuryakin was a sleeper, a puzzle. McCallum played Illya as an emotionless, private man, with secrets buried deep inside. He was a pre-Spock Spock, ironic considering the two shows (Star Trek) were televised at the same at the same time for a season.

   McCallum’s Kuryakin was a genius at some things but hopelessly, bumblingly inadequate at social interactions (meaning, women). That was probably intentional. Vaughn’s Solo was intended to be the womanizer, the Sean Connery look alike, the star of the show. After all, it was “The Man”, not “The Men”. In the first several episodes, Vaughn’s Solo was truly solo. Illya Kuryakin wasn’t intended to be a regular character. He was a walk on. The original producer even said to ‘get rid of that K guy.” Well, they got rid of the wrong K. Thank god, because The Man from Uncle would have never been more than a one season show in the dark without Kuryakin.

    The original producers should have seen that two Men were necessary. Often, it was Solo coming to Kuryakin’s rescue. He was so often the foil, the target of the bad guys.

   What catapulted Kuryakin from one shot on the show to the co-star?

David McCallum as Illya Kuryakin

   Hormones. Specifically, women’s. The reaction of the American female audience when they first laid eyes on this alien, this RUSSIAN was nothing short of an explosion.  At that time, the general opinion was that Russians were as dangerous as wounded grizzly bears, but far less reasonable. 

   When the moody, silent, oddly accented (strange how so many Scotsmen end up playing Russians) handsome young man showed up as an UNCLE agent, women went bananas.  

   Having grown up with the original televised series, I can tell you that Illya Kuryakin should have been Secretary of State. If woman had been in charge of the governments of both countries, glasnost would have happened twenty five years ahead of Gorbachev’s dismantling the Communist regime. McCallum’s Kuryakin melted the glacier of Soviet Union-United States stalemate, at least in the hearts of millions of hormonal women and girls. I remember being swept off my feet by David McCallum’s portrayal. Women wanted to mother him. Girls like me wanted to be held by him. We wanted to reach past the cold exterior and comfort the wounded man inside. We knew we could make him love us, and if he did, he would protect us from any bad guy that even thought of menacing us. But you had to work hard to get past those walls.

     The hardest question I’d heard at that time was: if only one of the two Men from Uncle could rescue you, which one would you prefer? I could never answer it.  Solo was a good man, but there was always that air of predator about him. You were never sure if he was rescuing the girl in danger not only out of sense of duty, but also that he might like to try that sweet young thing's performance in the sack. Which only adds luster to Vaughns' acting ability. Robert Vaughn was a good Napoleon Solo, but McCallum blew him away in the believability race.

   In the new version, Henry Cavill plays the perfect Solo. He beds at least two women and perhaps three? one of them being the villainess of the movie. But thank god, it’s not a skin show. No T & A and only one scene where a woman is topless, and walking away from the camera. Nevertheless, sexuality is implied and innuendo’ed throughout the film. Tasteful, titillating, and, well, expected of Solo.

   But Kuryakin?

    Armie Hammer’s Kuryakin is NOT your grandmother’s Illya.

The New Illya Kuryakin

    He’s dangerous as hell. He’s BIG (I think I read Hammer is 6”5) and handsome. He’s a (to quote Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes), a ‘high functioning sociopath.” He’s hell on big fast wheels. He’s a smoking volcano, sexually smoldering, capable of killing you without a sound, herculean feats of strength, and a brooding distrust of everyone, including Solo.

   

    The two don’t trust each other. They’re thrown together in an unbelievable collaboration of Cold War Soviet Union and United States, but you know that each has been told, privately, to kill the other.

    The opportunity presents itself. I won’t spoil it for the reader.

    The casting is good, although Hugh Grant as Waverly just doesn’t work. However, neither did Leo G. Carroll, from the original TV show. Carroll had the look of a sleepy basset hound with the same amount of acting talent. The man..not just the character…seemed completely befuddled, speaking his lines with the distracted, surprised expression of  “Oh, is it my turn to speak?” He wasn't acting. He was reciting his lines, depending completely on someone off camera with a cue board, his lines in big letters. I don’t believe he had many.

    The inclusion of a female on the team doesn’t work well, either. I know, these days we have to have diversity. If there’s a sequel, she’ll be in it. This is a departure from the original that I don’t care for. UNCLE was and should be a guy bonding thing. I am politically incorrect for saying this, but that was the 60’s. Women were bubble headed big racked pawns and playtoys of the evil guys and the Men were there to save them.

   ( Although there is one line in the film, given by the girl, that is just hysterical-“Oh, you don’t want to dance. You want to wrestle.”)

    On second thought, the damsel in distress gig got (and gets) old quickly. It annoys me when a female character is so stupid as to need rescuing. When a smart woman sees a velociraptor coming at her, she doesn’t stand around screaming. She runs like hell.

   This girl seems to have some balls, so…let’s include her, but darn it, she needs to be able to handle herself. I want her to be like Kensi on “NCIS:LA”. Danielle Ruah is a stone fox who plays a woman who can kick ass and take names.

     I was ten years old when I saw my first UNCLE television show. I immediately was hooked and have remained hooked for all these years.

    It wasn’t considered real ‘drama’. It was said to be a ‘satire’ of the James Bond movies. It was neither. It was a good show, for its time. The critics sneered at it, which only made it much more popular and watched.

   I went to see the 2015 version with trepidation. I didn’t want certain precious aspects to be trivialized, forgotten, or mocked. I didn’t want ‘camp’, ‘satire’, ‘silly’. I worried needlessly.

   The critics dislike it immensely.

    I’ve learned that any movie the critics dump on is a good one.

    This was no exception.

The 2015 version of “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” doesn’t just stay true to the original 60’s version of spy vs spy, government vs government, high stakes international poker.

It’s better. It’s an improvement. And most of all, amazingly, it’s a whole new thing.

It’s TERRIFIC.

Thank you, Guy Ritchie, for getting it right. 

I wholeheartedly recommend it.

The Original Men

 The New Men